On Wanting More…

“Sometimes I feel like Robin from How I Met Your Mother,” is what my best friend exclaimed to me over the phone during one of our routinely long conversations. It was one of those ridiculous moments of clarity wrapped in a cheesy analogy with a sitcom character. Yet, I could relate so unbelievably well to that statement.

The character Robin Scherbatsky is a fiercely independent woman; a career-minded journalist who had never been in love when we are first introduced to her. There are a whole host of other things about Robin that I can’t relate to but those things above are what caused our “aha!” moment.

I have always been career-minded and ambitious – too independent for my own good according to some. I find myself constantly searching for and craving more. More in my career, love life and family life. I’m continuously looking for ways to improve myself and grow as a person. I catch myself daydreaming about the future and enacting different scenarios in my head.

I hate the thought of being comfortable and I am constantly wanting “more,” yet I find myself feeling guilty for feeling that way. Why can’t I be satisfied with what I have is what I find I’m asking myself more and more often. So many people are struggling and would appreciate having any job to pay the bills and stay afloat and I have nothing but respect for them. So why can’t I just appreciate what I have?

I don’t think it’s that black and white. I do appreciate what I have whole-heartedly. I am so grateful for everything that I have. I worked hard to put myself through school and to get to this point, but I’m not satisfied with this. I want to strive to be better. And guess what? That’s okay. Wanting more is human and it doesn’t necessarily equate to monetary dreams. It could mean wanting touch more lives in humanitarianism, or wanting more in love.

The word more implies that you’re greedy, and think you’re better than others. Most of all it implies that there is something more out there and that the “more” is obtainable. And unless you’re like me, the fact that the “more” is obtainable scares the hell out of people who are okay with settling and wondering “what if?” for years and years.

Being happy on your own terms, not what life and society tell you is okay. So what if you’re not doing what society tells you you should?

You are not crazy for wanting more than a lather-rinse-repeat life.

You’re not selfish for wanting to further your career.

You’re not snobby for wanting to continue to educate yourself.

You’re not wrong for wanting to be stronger, more creative, and more experienced professionally.

You’re not weird for wanting a more fulfilling relationship.

It’s okay to want more and strive for more.

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